Stop this Nerk (one)


I’ve recently returned from a trip back to the UK to see family and friends and although it was great to catch up I couldn’t wait to return to Italy and be back home.

Now, whenever I’m travelling by aeroplane, I’m sure I have a sign that flashes above my head that reads, ‘can’t be trusted’ or ‘bloody liability’ or possibly, ‘stop this nerk and check his case’.

As we checked in at the airport in Pescara a man who had enjoyed a few drinks asked us if we’d carry his brothers’ case on for him, obviously we said no, and despite him slotting it in-between mine and my friends cases he didn’t succeed in getting an extra case past the security team. My hand-luggage went through the scanner and the machine beeped, the woman looking on the x-ray mentioned the word, coltello (blade/knife) to her colleague and my case was taken to another bench. I remembered then that in a gift box inside my luggage was a pizza cutter. A different man came over and opened my case, the first thing he found was my deodorant and as it was larger than 100ml, he confiscated it as he shook his head at me. He pointed to the gift box that was exquisitely wrapped in expensive wrapping paper: (for expensive wrapping paper, read, free newspaper of offers from supermarket) .

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Photo by Becky Tickle.

“What’s this?” he asked, so I told him it was a gift of cups and saucers, he smiled and closed up my case and I went on my way with the pizza cutter still inside. Well after making such an effort with the wrapping paper it’d be a shame to have to remove it in the airport just because of a simple little circular blade, it’s not as if they were delivering pizza on board the 20.35 to Stansted.

Sign of the Day

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