Friday 18 January 2013 – Sorry I’ve been away for a few days, there’s been quite a lot going on that has left me little time to write my blog, mad considering I only moved it from its old address to this new WordPress one.
So imagine this: With a couple of mates, you’ve had a shot at pop stardom and eventually the hits dried up. What happens next? There’s a few weeks of ice skating, maybe diving off a ten metre board in diamante budgie-smugglers or even showing off your culinary skills in a TV kitchen. But what do you do when the work offers dry up to nothing more than opening a new Poundland in Croydon or a stint as a celebrity crossing guard outside your nephew’s nursery? Simple, you reunite with your previous band mates.
ITV are filming a new reality show where pop acts reunite for the entertainment of the viewing public. The acts set to get back together on our screens are Atomic Kitten, with original band member Kerry ‘car-crash’ Katona. Liberty X, or as I preferred to call them, Liberty Kiss. Five, albeit without their front man J Brown, meaning 5ive become 4our. B*Witched, annoying Irish foursome, or should that read, tiresome? 911, the vocal group made of three boys, and I do mean boys. And finally Honeyz, or as I like to think of them… WHO? (One thing strikes me about these pop acts from the 1990’s, their inability to spell properly).
Considering that Atomic Kitten, who were the most successful of all these pop acts had most of their success with Katona replacement, Jenny Frost, why have they decided to regroup with original member, Kerry for the show. Perhaps it was decided who would join after a girl-fight, ‘round the back of Maccydees one Friday night? Although I do have to concede and say that Liz McClarnon (my favourite Kitten) and Natasha Hamilton, can actually sing, and very well too.
911, were always pre-teen fodder for girls, they had what the pop-magazines called a clean-cut image, wherein, the truth was, they all looked as if they were waiting for puberty to arrive. I always thought that singer Lee Brennan looked like Declan Donnelly’s little brother.
Five, it’s been documented that Jason ‘J’ Brown wants nothing to do with the show or any impending reunion with former band mates, so much so, he became quite vocal about it on the bands fansite. This leads me to that one burning question: Considering, ‘J’ did the majority of the vocals and the others shouted a little in the background between throwing their arms up in an aggressive manner, who will fill the big man’s boots?
And don’t get me started on Liberty X. I had the misfortune of working on a charity event some years ago and they were part of the evening’s planned entertainment. Not only did they arrive late and were rude backstage but their performance had the slickness of tar and the entertainment value of porridge.
You could argue that these groups have already been put out to pop-pasture and should remain there, but when there’s money to be made can you blame any of them for doing it. Some girls will be pummelling the cellulite and the boys will be hoping there’s enough powder to define those now alcohol-puffed cheeks. And I’m also sure there will be a handful of crash diets and male corsets thrown into the mix, but when you look at some previous reunions it’s astounding how lucrative they have been.
Take That have accumulated 130 million pounds since their comeback, the Spice Girls have notched up a healthy 25 million and Steps, masters of the TV reunion have amassed a further 10 million pounds from their brief get-back-together. Makes we wish I’d stuck with the band I sang with back in the 1980’s.
And as a matter of fact as I finish this entry to my blog, the iPod is playing, Silent Hedges by my all-time favourite band, Bauhaus who had a reunion tour back in 2006, which was well received by the fans, I for one enjoyed their Birmingham shows and I’ll leave you with one last video to counteract the pop-pap in the ones above.